


Us

by AlexVaz01



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, BDSM, Blindfolds, Bondage, F/F, Orgasm Delay, Porn With Plot, Reconciliation Sex, Rope Bondage, Semi-Public Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:12:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexVaz01/pseuds/AlexVaz01
Summary: Could a relationship builded over kinks and sexual release become something meaningful to both of them?, Even if there's feelings involved, How can they make it work?





	1. Photographs

**Author's Note:**

> This story isn't going to be regular, I might update it every month or so, I have an idea of what I want to do with the characters, but at this moment I cant update this and Home at the same time, so keep that in mind

I’ve always known that when black takes my eyes my other senses will become sharper, at their peak, I can smell a lot more, when something get in my skin it’s feels even better, the tastes become more than just an experience, the way the sounds, or even the silence, can take me away, it’s the greatest feeling, so, when Lapis arrived with my blindfold over my sight, I knew it was going to be a good night, she gave me a little kiss over my lips before pushing me to bed, my body was already melting to her touch, the feeling of her hands taking my wrists, of the ropes tying them to the posts of the bed, my legs left free, still clothes on, a little question over my ear “Are they alright my love?” My head already going into a haze, a mist, a little nod my only answer, I feel the sounds of the bed, louder than before, and the way her foots slam the floor, a door opening at my left, our closet, and I’m going ten time more wet thinking about what will we do today, by the position I’m in I suppose I can’t talk without her permission, I can’t ask her anything, but sometimes rules are made to be broken, and I just want to know what does she have in mind, “What are we doing today my l-love” my voice quivering in excitement, as I keep waiting, the sounds of her hands searching through our boxes, no more noise in the air for at least a few minutes, room getting colder by the minute, but my cunt and guts becoming lava, burning, hot and needy, suddenly her hand start roaming in my clothes, through the buttons of the shirt she choose for my today, nails running by my sides, hot breath hitting my cold neck, a familiar weight over my body, hot steam starting to go up and up, against my ear, “I wanted to put that mouth to a good use, but it seems like I will need to close it for a bit” Teeth digging in the lobe of my ear, an involuntary but long moan going out of my mouth, then, the strap at my cheeks, the ball between my lips, and already a line of drool running through my jaw, gagged and blindfolded as I feel Lapis going away again, and the room is cold, freezing like ice, as the right door is opened and my mistress is looking for something in the house.

 

Going in a drowsy state of mind it’s weird in my position, but I feel in it rather quickly, a hand quickly pulling me to reality, my pants fastly undone and going down, my legs starting to feel the covers as I help her take them off, my panties being immediately raided, fingers well know starting to play with the wetness that my body had ready for her, just because of the anticipation of her touch, I feel a little thing inside of me and the game we are about to play is clear, feeling her fingers roaming through my chest, starting to quickly rip off the buttons to get access to my breast brings me closer to the place she wants me to be, cold hands roaming through my belly, damp mouth starting from my collarbone, leaving a wet trail through my neck, my jaw, playing at my cheeks, and finally biting my ear once again, “If I feel you are trying to end, I’m going to stop you in the most unsatisfying way possible, just nod to let me know you heard me right” In a flash my head went up and down as I feel a little thing pushed up in my hand and my heart swell as always, as the countless times she has done that, a little Peridot stone, just like my name, since I can’t scream the safe word with this ball stuffed in, if it’s too much for me, I just need to drop this and it’s over, but I can’t think much of that when you feel a tongue playing on your neck, licking and cleaning one place, making me shiver, moving my legs slowly, waiting patiently for the first scream I’m about to make through my gag, the moment four sharp teeths dig into my skin, her cheeks probably going inside as the suction makes my skin tremble and sore, quickly leaving what I suppose it’s a hickey, my sounds starts to fill the room as the hazy mist becomes predominant on my mind, I’m ready for the trip that breath falling again over my body is wanting me to go.

 

The worst part of the first order is when she knows you so well that your body can’t lie, the moment she sees my legs twitching uncontrollably before she allows me to I’m doomed, but it may take a while, because her breath is taking a stop in my chest, over my bra, and I feel vibrations starting through my core, as always I try to move my legs together, rubbing myself a little, but a knee there prevents me that, her voice in a chuckling as her lips starts to kiss my collarbone, I’m her pray and she is ready to eat me whole as I’m left without clothes but my panties, knowing that only by the cold air hitting me, making my nipples go harder than before, cold room as a nip over my right one makes me scream in pleasure once again, the muscles on my legs starting to move, but I’m still in control as the vibrations keep going up and up, my hips bucking against nothing, just the feel of her mouth on my chest makes me be her slave, I want to be here, I want to be hers and I want her touch, I want to beg, I want to plead but I can’t, even if I know that my Lapis is a cruel mistress, but fair, as the springs of bed sounds again signaling the end of our first game of the night.

 

Ice against my breasts always feels good, but I feel like she enjoyed even more the scream this time she got, it was unexpected and quick, the cold sensation on my body making my spine twitch with so much pleasure, as her voice comes to my ears, “I see you bucking up, Stop” I try to work my mouth but this ball doesn’t let me get my sweet words to her, I force my body to stop, or at least I try as I feel fire, hot and burning, a little stick?, two maybe, pressed against my other side, my body curving by itself as I scream and moan through the gag, I don’t even know what she did brought today, but it feels so good, unless you were just told to don’t move, and all of that just stop as you feel fingers pressed against your cheeks, her breath hitting my nose, allowing me to even smell the toothpaste she used some minutes ago, “I said no movement” a finger, probably her thumb, cleaning the clear line of drool of my face, as her other hand force my body down and into the bed, her index roaming outside my underwear, “Nothing at all” I become over conscious as I notice how my hips jerked against her hand, I stop, with all the strength I can still muster, but is not enough, my body keeps moving, searching for the pleasure, the pressure, the touch where I need it, and then starts, the part I love and hate the most, her hand away and just one smack over my pussy, a twitch of pain but my body filled with so much gratitude that I can’t even understand, her sounds hitting me again, “I don’t want to see you move for, hm… let's say, five minutes” Her hands opening my legs again, and the toy going up and up, vibrations everytime higher, second by second, my body like trapped in a mirror, not moving an inch.

 

Just as she teached me how to meet the heaven, sometimes she can bring hell with her, time was already inexistent as the toy stopped, a light laugh by her as she get my last clothing off, her fingers going inside and taking the toy with her, but soon filled with another thing, a big dildo that I’ve grown accustomed to, putting in a position that’s just… there, just filling me, not playing with me, never in nor out, no movement, it’s just giving me the sensation of being full, “I hope you don’t finish with this in the next 3 minutes, If you don’t I’ll have a surprise for you” All I can hear before feeling it going inside and out, the gag can’t stop me anymore, my teeths clenching inside as I scream in pleasure, her thumb over my clit, pressing against the hard toy that’s filling me, inside and out, once and again, her mouth on my hips, going up and up to my nipples, still hard and needy, her other hand lost somewhere, finding my hair and pulling it to the mattress, the pain just an annoying factor of pleasure, and my body starting to jerk, I want it, I want it so much, I want to end, I want to cum all over the toy, all over her hand, all over her, I want her to know how much pleasure she has driven into me in god knows how much time, but the idea of a treat is so tempting that I just hold, my body moving on instinct and my mind only trying to control one thing, just don’t cum Peridot, just wait a little more.

 

The moment the dark is pulled away from my eyes I found out her naked body against mine, a smirk on those well known lips, looking from my chest, her hand going out of me with the dildo, and another toy on the side, a strapon, that she hastily starts to put in me as her voice does her work, “You will learn to wait for your turn and don’t ask for anything, I’m going to use you tonight, I’m going to ride you until I’m satisfied and then, only if your tongue was skilled enough, you will receive another treat, ok?” Nodding is my only answer as I feel the last clicks and she gets the ball away from my mouth, my jaw starting to work as she inserts two fingers inside, “Clean them, you made this mess in my hand” At least a free tongue can taste my own well known flavor, direct from those fingers, focusing on her tips, going to the juncture, until she got them out, “I want to hear my name as I go”, the gaze of Lapis going atop of you, her toned body, perks of a swimmer, her chest, bigger than yours, making you drool all over again, her form ready to fall over your hips, filling herself with the toy she puts in you, and I feel the pressure, her body slowly going against me, her back arching, as my tied hands try to go over her, struggling and wiggling against the holds, my wrist feeling red and hot, How much I’ve been pushing without even noticing?, But that already doesn’t matter, as her palms go over my breasts, looking for equilibrium as her butt starts to pick up the pace, claiming my newly found part, smacking it with her body, my obediente voice raising, “Lapis, Mistress, My queen” Going with the names she wants to hear, she loves to hear, as her speed goes up and her mouth opens in her first moan of the night, music filling my ears as she talks, “I w-w-want you to move now” Her body stopped as she’s still atop my lap, filled and needy, and I can’t hold the eagerness of my voice, “Yes, Mistress Lazuli”, my hips for the first time following her orders, smacking her over and over, her body going away from me, like she’s showing me everything that she is, everything that’s mine, as I’m hers, moans and gasps, shivers and little squirms everytime I hit inside her, her voice no longer something understandable or even human, primal and pure, lust ridden screams with letters that may or may not be my name, as I drive her over the top, feeling how she falls over me, body tired, and a new wetness starts to fall over my body.

 

She may be tired after that, but as always, my Lapis is a good goddess, even though she’s cruel sometimes, but she always gives more than she gets, and her knees climbing up the bed it’s a sign of that, I can see her muscles quivering of tiredness, but she still can bring a heated and already used, wet and musky, core right to my face, her voice still commanding as I love it to be, “Second part now, my little pet, clean me up… twice” Orders clear as my tongue start to roam inside of her, I must make her finish once again, easy task, my lips curling on in a ball of nerves that seemingly needed my love, because it was the first thing she brought to my mouth, sucking hastily and strongly, mixing my canines sometimes, and the first clear scream of my name fills the air of the room, my mouth open, my tongue going inside, and I notice how the walls are closing again, the wetness overtaking everything in my face, as she finish again all over me, my mouth, her only use right now, to clean the mess I created, going carefully through every nook and cranny of her cunt, needingly tasting her, the ambrosia of gods, giving me eternal life as her taste fills all that I am.

 

Her body falling again, and I must wait a little longer, I feel her touch and movement, I feel her body curling at my side and her giving me the first loving kisses of the night, working the sides of my mouth, the stone still hidden on my fist as she asks slowly, “Do you want it rough my darling?” Her eyes are so tired, but filled with a determination to do wherever I want that I can’t even lie, “Just… make me scream your name” A light chuckle as she gets up and bites my mouth, “I don’t want to hear any other sound of your little mouth” Something picked up from my side, and the well known vibrations hitting my clit, rubbing over it, little ball torturing me as my mouth is filled with her tongue in a passionate kiss, the other hand lost again until I feel my core filled up by the other thing she brought into play today, the first gasp escaping my freed lips, a moan that may sound like an L as the pulses becomes too much for a body already pushed to the edge, forced to watch and feed himself with her own taste, a sharp last scream of her name is the only thing in my rational mind, as she milks me over and over until it finishes, she taking everything away, she untying my wrists, her fingers in her mouth, a smile on my face as I realize she’s taking my flavor, my arms drawing around her as I push us under the covers, her closed eyes already going away, It’s usually the other way around, but seemingly she enjoyed this much more, a kiss on her forehead as she whispers a little thing, going deep and deep in my heart, “I’m sorry if I was rough tonight, I love you”, If you ever are a sub, and you find a partner that can show you that much love in that afterglow, completely wasted and knowing fully that you enjoyed it, asking for an untold and unneeded thing, the only correct answer is cuddle against her, sharing your body heat and kiss her in the mouth, whispering another sweet “I love you” before drifting off to sleep, knowing full well that if you failed tomorrow with your mission, it was going to be a long, but hopefully good, day.

* * *

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* * *

 

The first thing I took out of my backpack was the black blindfold, today was a really good evening, everything went well at work, Peri sending me some nice, and naughty, messages during the day, making every break I could take even better, she got a reward coming… and also a punishment, I didn’t gave her permission this morning for that, I mean... I will always welcome some nice pictures of her in underwear, a nice view of her butt, or her perky tits, but she needs to learn her place... even though I’m thinking she did that knowing what to expect when I arrive, the door to our bedroom is quickly opened and I find her, focused on the TV, a game in the console and her fingers tapping at the controler, for a moment the idea of letting her finish what she was doing was tempting, I mean, she always looks so hot, all focused, headphones over her ears, eyes and mind focused on only one thing, but… I want her, I want her right here right here and right now, I should use this time to go and find our ropes, her ropes to be honest, the sight of her, oblivious about what’s going to happen in a moment is what finally pushes me to do it, succumb into the carnal desires, jump into her body, take away the headphones, put the black blindfold over her eyes and push her into bed, I didn’t wanted to hear any whimper or complain, so I pushed her into the mattress, with a kiss on her lips, sealing any word she wanted to mutter, her body melding into mine, the little moves she always does when I surprise her, her hips bucking a little, her hands wanting to tangle in my hair or rest in my shoulders, pulling me in, but losing all strength the moment I push, being the best pet, the best sub I could ever want, following every desire of her master, following everything I ever wanted, even the implicit orders I gave her, her wrist ready for the knots I was about to make, tying her, delicately but firmly to the bed, taking her power to move, making her all mine, mine to observe, mine to enjoy, mine, always mine, but, as much as I love her and I want to claim every inch of that beautiful body, I won’t ever, EVER, push her or force her, and I need to know if she can still feel the blood on her hands, “Are they alright my love?” a whisper left on her ear, a smile she’s never going to see as her head eagerly nods.

 

“What are we doing today my l-love” a little broken, eager, making me smirk as I go through the things we’ve got in this years, taking also the gag, if she was so eager to talk, even tied and blindfolded, maybe I need to take her voice for a bit too, just the thought of her, begging internally, without having any way to show me, the idea that she could be making so many sweet sounds, made even sweeter through the gag, it tingles, it’s so intoxicating, a little glance to her needy body, her legs moving, her arms pulling the strings, I want her, I want her now, a little walk towards her, a hand over her leg, her body, as I leave the toys in her side, roaming upside, enjoying every time her muscles shiver, twitch, shudder at the point of my fingertips, her clothed body, her sensitive sides, the lavender smell of her neck as I climb in her, losing myself on her side, going to her ear, losing the objective I had, until I feel the ball on my hand, “I wanted to put that mouth to a good use, but it seems like I will need to close it for a bit” slowly and teasingly, a little nip on her earlobe, milking the first of many moans that I want to hear, filling the air with a divine sound, the music I’ve heard tons of times in this chamber, but still turns my body, my mind, my everything, the strap falling over her mouth, her lips opening eager for it, saliva starting to roll over her jaw, and I’m at lost for words, she’s perfection incarnate, she’s the best that ever was, the best that ever will be, the best that it is right now, and I want to claim her for myself, I want to mark every nook and cranny of her body, I want to show the world when I walk with her holding hands that she’s taken, that she’s mine, outside and inside, away from the house and inside this room, this place, I want to tear apart the clothes that separate us and I want to taste her, her neck, her collarbone, her chest, her belly, and start again, and again, I want to do it fast and slow, and I want to get the most of it, not for me, but just for her, so I can’t keep myself here now, I need a few... things… and I know how much she enjoys to wait for me, with a little touch, the floor is touching my feet, as the door to the kitchen opens and I’m looking for the last things. 

 

Those pictures, those damned pictures made me take a detour in my way home, two little sticks that I brought today, they told me they are called “batons”, came out of my bag, two bowls taken of our kitchen, the electric kettle, boiling water as I wait, the other one, filling with little cubes of ice, my mind absent as I focus in what I want for today, what does Peridot wants too, going through my options, the time there makes short, I walk back, leaving everything at the side, as the sight is breathtaking, my Peridot, my beautiful princess almost asleep in her garments, her hands tied and her face taken, but so relaxed, trusting so much in me that she can almost fall asleep even in her… compromising position, my hand roaming freely through the side of her body, her figure still relaxed, until the moment I stop and decide to start, bullet vibrator in my hand as her pants are swiftly taken off, legs tense as she wakes, my hands going into her panties, glued to her core, still wet between my fingers, enough to let me put it inside of her setting for a low speed, listening closely to any sound she could make, nothing yet as I start to roam, fingers over her chest, pressing, touching, wanting, pulling the sides of the buttoned shirt, ripping those quickly, her belly hot against my hands, and her torso, calling me, asking me for a mark, for a sign, my lips in her collarbone and up, up and up again, kisses, licks, not one nip yet, her neck, her jaw, kissing lightly, lovingly her red, hot cheeks, her ear, a lick in her lobe as I feel her body jerking off again, shivering against mine, why are you like this, my little and sweet Peridot, Why do you want to end so early?, Power settling into her mind as the words left her mouth, unwillingly telling the object of my desires, of my wishes, “If I feel you are trying to end, I’m going to stop you in the most unsatisfying way possible, just nod to let me know you heard me right”, her head brushing against my hair, a clear sign of her nodding, a second later I’m opening my little gem, a locket that she gave me years ago, covered in Lapis Lazuli, a teardrop shape, letting a little green stone fall into my hands, if I’m covering her mouth, my duty is to give her a way to show me her discomfort, if she feels anything, a little Peridot stone pushed between her fingers, her hold tightening when she feels it, like she wants to keep in there forever and never let go, but I can't focus on that now, I don’t know if she did it on purpose or not, but a little movement left her neck ready for me to attack, my tongue teasingly going up and down, even before my lips crash in her skin, my nose taking every part of her scent, every second a little more of her, for me, for when I’m alone, for every moment she isn’t by my side, the smell that gives me life, that fuels me to continue as a little kiss in there becomes a bite, harsh and crude, but so necessary, not only for her but me too, a shudder just before I press, a loud moan going even through the gag, her sound forcing me to suck, once and again, my eyes closed imagining her face, eyes half lidded, trying to focus on my face as I keep going, sounds so similar but yet so different as the ones that envelop me right now, my only wish to keep going, biting and sucking, once and again, her skin probably already purple, turning a shade of gray soon, once and again as I lose myself in her voice.

 

Slowly as I broke of the trance my own body begins to heat up, so much, a warm sensation on my skirt, as the toy is turned higher by my hands, giving me just the reaction I wanted, her knees trying to close on her slit, a knee, my knee, as an unwanted visitor there, a smirk on my face as I go lower, glancing the black skin left, making me happy inside, filled with such a wonderful sensation as her bra bothers me, just the presence of it, even though I brought it, even though I asked her to use it more, it's… there, her body stripped bar by my hands as I start to suck again, in the places that excite her the most, in the place that draws the sweetest screams of her mouth, on any place that would force her to disobey me, the toy going up and up again, close to the max but not there yet, as she just doesn’t care anymore, full movement in her hips as she jerks against the air, the space I left with my body, but this time, this time I want her to enjoy more, maybe is time to go a little away, to kill something with more excitement as I leave the bed, sitting at the side, getting the batons, hot in the water, on one hand, and the ice in another, I take a second to appreciate the body laid in front of me, a coat of sweat on her forehead, her godly hips, the chest, better when I watch it live than in the photographs she sent, her blonde hair falling into the pillow, her eyes still covered and a bigger trial of drool falling at the right side of her mouth, pale skin, white as snow welcoming me, asking me for more of those hickeys, a canvas for my art, the one already left behind expanding more and more, her breasts, nipples hard and red, twitching a little, waiting for anything I could make, her damp panties, her quivering thighs and knees, as the vibrations keep being too much and too little at the same time, her body now at my side, as I fall there, pressing the ice fast in her chest, the loudest gasp until now, twitching so much, her hips jumping of the bed, once and again, “I see you bucking up, Stop”, all her muscles tensing as she tries to finally stop completely, but no luck the moment I press the hot bars in her other side, a sharp angle in her back, scream and moans, one after the other, going, moving, over and over, every time the cold and hot goes away her body calming a little, every moment I press them again, her body breaking under my touch, but I’m after all a mistress, her mistress, and if I didn’t made her follow the rules we both set, maybe she needs a reminder, the toys falling to the water, my body climbing over her, a hand on her cheeks and the other in her heated core, “I said no movement” as my fingers move by themselves, touching down, one finger over her slit, “Nothing at all” as her body leans to the contact, her jaw now clean by my hand, forcibly stopping, trying to, because she keeps doing it, lesser speed and strength, but still movement, a little slap, enticing a gasp between the ball and a plan lighting on my mind, “I don’t want to see you move for, hm… let's say, five minutes”, my hands pushing her knees open, the toy at the max now, her body trying her hardest to not move, a little twitch on her legs, but there I sit, my phone in front as I take my clothes, enjoying the almost naked Peridot trying to hold a river just with pure and raw willpower.

 

First thing first, it was time to stop the toy in her core, my fingers going through all the wetness I managed to give her, mine, mine, mine, this is what I do to her, my Peridot, my precious and perfect gem, the toy already out, but fastly replaced by a big green dildo she choose some months ago, fun fact, I was afraid at the beginning that it might hurt her, but after the first night, and a husky husky voice that convinced me to try it, that fear went quickly away, anyway, I know what she wants, but today, just because of the pictures, I’m not going to give it to her so quickly, push the toy down, just fill her, don’t even move it, just as a tease, just for her to know she is under my control, I decide if I just fill her, if I pleasure her or anything I want, “I hope you don't finish with this in the next 3 minutes, If you don’t I’ll have a surprise for you” Finally moving it, the clock on my phone starting, inside and out, inside and out, inside and a scream out, the sound of her teeth biting hard, the muffled sounds of her mouth, inside and out, inside and a finger over a ball of nerves there, inside and out, a finger pressing over her, inside and out and my mouth in her hips, a wet trail over her breast, inside and out and bites over her nipples, inside and out and I notice her head up, inside and out and I pull her to the pillow once again, inside and out, inside and out as her body jerks, her hips moving away from my hand, out, inside and she pushing against me, juices starting to leak all over my hand, every thrust a little more, until time just passes and she hasn’t finished yet, a smile in my lips as I take away the toy, wanting to see her beautiful green eyes, pulling the blindfold and smirking as she notices I’m naked, her blush going two shades darker, I need her, the wet feeling in my core needs her, so I keep going, putting the strap-on on her, slowly, but skillfully, like a skill I’ve picked in this last few months, my intentions clear with my voice as I keep working, “You will learn to wait for your turn and don’t ask for anything, I’m going to use you tonight, I’m going to ride you until I’m satisfied and then, only if your tongue was skilled enough, you will receive another treat, ok?” I see her nodding, with her head and eyes as I finish the work in there and take off her gag, giving her two fingers, coated with her own leaks, “Clean them, you made this mess in my hand”, her tongue wrapping around them, tasting them quickly, but then going meticulously through every part of them, “I want to hear my name as I go” As I position myself on her perch, falling quickly, without need of foreplay, because I’m almost dripping at the sight of her eyes half closed enjoying the taste of herself, the first thrust slow, cautious, opening myself, forcing a low gasp through my lips, my body picking speed, my knees starting to bounce at her sides, my back arching, as she struggles against the hold of the rope, my body starting to lose balance, pushing myself forward, hands sprayed over her chest, faster and faster, she’s still quiet, she hasn’t moved anymore, behind all the pleasure there’s a doubt inside of me, Is she enjoying this?, “Lapis, Mistress, My queen” those exact words, at the moment I’m pushing inside of her makes me moan, loud, as loud as her when she was gagged, but I need her right now, I need her help, because I want to stop and I want her to pick up the pace, “I w-w-want you to move now”, “Yes, Mistress Lazuli” her instant answer as her hips move, the smacking becoming just another sound in the room, between my moans and screams, rhythmically going, hitting me over and over again, my back breaking in pleasure, my naked body in a sharp angle pushing her where I need them the most, screams, screams as my mind is taken by pure pleasure, as she continues to push inside of me, even when I’m twitching and my walls are closing in the toy, slowly, as I fall over her.

 

I owe her a reward, as my knees pick up and I do one of the things I know she loves the most, my wet, musky cunt going to her face, to her mouth, telling her the words the way I know she would like them, and trying to get a little more pleasure in the way, “Second part now, my little pet, clean me up… twice” Her skilled tongue the first thing that touch me, going inside an already filled core, tasting me, her lips closing on my clit as she sucks, making me scream with the first careful bite, my mind a little more clear as I set in the classic pronunciation of her name, every moan and gasp transformed in a scream of “Peri, Peridot, Please, Peridot”, finishing the moment her tongue goes inside, almost falling, but knowing I can’t do it, because her mouth keeps giving, because her tongue keeps exploring, because she’s showing me that she needs me to keep going, that she still wants to clean me, because I feel her nose touching as she forces herself deeper and deeper, trying to clean me up as much as she can, until her head fall into the pillow, my tired body falling, moving and curling with her, giving her kisses, tired and filled with wherever love she wants, I need just to know now, “Do you want it rough my darling?”, my eyes closing by themselves as she answers, “Just… make me scream your name” That eager answer forces me to chuckle, and to keep going, biting her lip and making a little observation before continue, “I don’t want to hear any other sound of your little mouth” as my hands searches for the bullet vibrator I left at the side, knowing full well what’s going to happen now.

 

A searing kiss in her mouth as my hand moves, the toy vibrating in my fingers, rubbing in a hard place in her core, her tongue going inside my mouth, but I’m too tired to care, my other hand looking for the dildo, finding it and filling her, forcing her mouth to go away, gasping, moaning, screaming a little, the first letters of my name, but she’s already on the edge, because one or two thrusts later she’s already finishing, I replace the toy with my fingers, loving the way her walls close against me as she keeps going, my other hand untying the rope, her hands falling in her chest, pulling me a little after some seconds, but giving me the space to do something so naughty but that I love so much, her wet juices in my fingers going straight to my mouth, her sweet taste filling my mouth as I’m starting to fall, even with sore wrist, probably, she picks me up and wrap us with the covers, holding me close, allowing me, the taller one, to curl as a child in her chest, only that forces me to do one last thing before drifting off, “I’m sorry if I was rough tonight, I love you” and my last rational thought is the feeling of her lips on mine, and my mind filled with the green color of her eyes.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

The initial thought in my head waking up is to search my drawer, the little blue box, containing a gold ring, with a little diamond on top and a few little Lapis Lazulis, in the sides, is still there, I take it and sleepily I try to find another place to hide it, this is too risky, as my mind reminds me, Lapis could find it anytime, as I open up my ex-room, before moving in the same place with her, all my computer stuff in disarray, finding an old box hiding in that closet, the first thought is that could be a good place, but opening it, I find a very old photograph, dated almost three years ago, Lapis and me, our first “Date”, the day she discovered me, the feeling of rope over my underwear feels so recent, as my mind starts to go down memory lane.


	2. Purest Girl Ever

For me, living with Lapis was the biggest blessing of them all.

 

I knew her since high school, the first day of class my eyes usually darted to her, to the tanned skin, to the beautiful brown hair, to the still blue eyes as she sat just too close, pulling me into her orbit; Lapis always ate alone, sitting in a side, trying to be as invisible as she could, in the upcoming months she never returned my looks, or that was I thought for a long time. Lazuli was always cold, distant, but even that didn’t stopped me, losing myself in her eyes, sometimes it was too much and I couldn’t even hear the teacher’s voice, being lost in how she tried to kept herself awake, how her blue oceans closed and her muscles moved, how the air escaped her lips.

 

This brunette made me realise I could only have eyes for a woman, this girl made me feel so in love, so lost in her body, in what she was, and every little interaction we had was like the biggest dream I could ever had; The time they had to work together in a project and I embarrassed myself trying to do it, just to come back to my bed and cry my heart out because she laughed at me, but that didn’t stopped Lapis to give me a little Hi next morning, surprising me by sitting at my side at lunch and talking with me. Lapis was talking to me, day after day, hour after hour and class after class, slowly but surely the tanned girl became my friend, my best friend after some months, even if we just interacted in classes, and in texts, for two years she stood by my side, as the best person I could ever had, until she told me she had to go.

 

I always had little to no friends, so her leaving was hard, not talking and not seeing this girl that became so important to me, sleep became hard, eating became hard, breathing became hard and that pushed me to do some things I’m not proud about, we stopped talking, we lost contact even if I was interested on her, because it hurted too much, because she was at the other side of the country and I couldn’t see her. I kept talking with Pearl and Ame and Garnet, but Lapis disappeared of my map and it wasn’t the same, for months I woke up with and ache in my heart, watching a little picture I had of Lapis Lazuli in the back of my phone.

 

When high school ended, and all my memories of Lazuli were just that, memories that didn’t hurt me anymore, I had enough money and a high enough GPA to go anywhere I wanted to study, I picked the best place I could for my dreams, really far away from home, I went to classes everyday and I had a lovely place with a girl I met there, a gal named Aquamarine; Even when she was rude and all, she was somewhat of a friend, leaving me mostly alone in our shared space.

It wasn’t until the middle of my first year there that I found Lapis, walking alone in the middle of the campus, face as I always remembered it, her eyes colored as the big great sea I learned to love, walking alone with the arms full of books and her hair as blue as the sky; I never got over her in high school, even after she left, I didn’t found someone as cute, as beautiful, as perfect, as… Lapis, as her, so my heart still belonged to this taller woman, week after week I sat in the middle of the campus, the same day at the same hour, just to see her stroll, sometimes faster or slower in her way to classes; weeks after (More like months, but who wants to admit that you stalked a blue haired girl you can’t forget for months) she didn’t passed that way, I waited for minutes unend, but she wasn’t there, until I felt two arms in my shoulders, from behind me, “If you wanted to talk to me, you should just ask away Peridot.”.

 

Time passed faster than I could believe, Lapis told me about her years away, I avoided every way of telling her that I was crazy for her, we even started to eat together some days, to share more time, to study side by side in the library and it was like coming back a few years, it was having my best friend back, it was back to the nights talking over text messages and the days full of stress about the tests and exams. Lapis was the first girl who I confessed that I was a lesbian, but the part about being her fault was left at the side, Lapis was the person that went with me when I talked with my parents, Lapis ended up becoming the center of my life, or close to it, it was like those years apart never happened, or if they did, they made our bond even stronger.

 

I was there for her when she told me how little money she had, I woke her every morning after all the night shifts she had to do, giving her a call of finding her passing out in the middle of some book in the library, I had coffee for her and in bad weeks I even came to pay for her food, until the fateful day occurred; Aqua was spending less and less time in our place, and Lapis’s money was running even shorter, we were thrown over the big sofa, talking and asking us things, studying a little when she came, Aquamarine, telling me that she would leave this place in a week, going to live with the Topaz twins, that meant finding another person to live by my side, that meant finding someone that didn’t made me insane, that would help and pay on time, that wouldn’t be dirty or disorganized, but when I faced that possibilities at night, I found out I had the best choice already there.

 

Lapis moved in three weeks later, after long days trying to convince her that this was a good thing, that I didn’t mind about someone not paying the day we were due because she just didn’t had any cash, that I would be happy to help her in anything and that I definitely didn’t had any trouble of someone arriving at 2AM in the morning Monday to Friday from her night job at a local market. For me, just living with Lapis was the biggest blessing of them all, and for a couple of years, it was everything I could had from her.

 

We were the best roommates year by year, never any problem between us, enjoying watching movies or series in the big couch that we brought, Lapis with her sporadic jobs and I working freelancer in some small programing things in college. During those years, those 7 years after meeting her, the small crush I once had when I was little had grown up into a full blown “Falling in love” or “Being head over heels” for her, but I never thought she would see something in the little nerd that lived by her side, I settle in the little things I could have, in the times she was crying because she had a fight with a girl, guy, someone, and I was the one that made that smile, on the hugs she gave me and the times she caressed my hair… I must admit that I thought of her in a more… Sexual way… During those years; In my defense, it was her fault, the thin walls didn’t masked the sounds of the springs in bed, or the muffled moans that once or twice a month I could hear late at night, the way the feets of the bed moved a little when she reached the climax or I thought she had, silence overcoming everything once again… I never did something in bed because she could hear me, if she was at the other side I would be the most pure little girl I could, but in those days the bathroom was my best friend, especially after those days she made me think so many things, how the sweat would pool between her brows, how her hands would give ghostly touches, or maybe slow ones, with drive and passion, or maybe just innacurate fast ones, trying to reach the point as fast as she could, how would the sounds would be if the hand, or the covers with which she tried to muffle her moans weren’t there, and… in my wildest fantasies… how those sounds would become heated screams of the letters of my name.

 

I wasn’t a saint either, the bottom drawer of my night table had a lock for a reason, it was almost full of rope, different sizes and colors and hiding under everything, two small toys, short and… well… let’s say they moved at a quite fast pace, even more hidden there was a black blindfold that I never had the heart to use, but rested quite peacefully, in the bottom of the drawer. I must also admit that there were times when I used them, my toys,when Lapis wasn’t around, when she had work to do, when she wasn’t at home for hours. Then I grew more confident, more daring, there was something in the fact that she could catch me, opening the bathroom door, or my room, finding me tied up and unable to do much or even anything at all. 

 

On one of the many trips to the internet I did I found about something called Shibari, and I fell in love with all those ties, with the way the rope darted from one side to the other, making intricate patterns, butterflies and figures over the naked bodies, almost as an art form. First problem I had, I can’t do it by myself; Second problem, I can't trust this with anyone else. Months passed with me searching online and actually… pleasuring myself… with such images, just when Lapis wasn’t there, but… it came a moment when this didn’t helped… I felt… I felt that I needed more, much more, so… I did the most basic thing I could… I started wearing ropes over my underwear… not tight but… it felt safe?... It felt good… Really good; The feeling of the thick string around my chest, in my back, in my thighs, the pressure they apply, it felt good, it felt like the forbidden fruit, dangling, tasteful and full of so many flavors, the thing I needed, talking with Lapis with the ropes pressing down my skin brought more than a blush to my face, forced me to wait for the moment she left, to almost plead for her to leave the place, to open the door and close it from the outside, just for the pleasure of feeling myself, just the way I wanted… It was so exciting it became intoxifying, soon enough Lapis being there wasn’t enough, it couldn’t be enough.

 

During the last 8 months before we began our… “Relationship”, I think that’s the better term, I was less and less shy about it, more daring, first I began using them in classes, early morning or late in the night, when it was only one or two hours at the time, then, it became a full day, almost 14 hours of the feeling of the ropes I pressed myself against my body, circling my chest and pressing my core in all the right places… I must admit that for long I didn’t dared to do much more than that (Implying that this wasn’t far enough), until I brought the two little toys, purple ones, vibrators, with a little unattached control, shyness forced me to buy them out in internet… They were a little smaller than I expected them but… Honestly they felt so good, pressed against myself, tensing the ropes, traveling up and down my body, all the right places, the little vibrating pieces of plastic pressed in my skin, with the control at the tip of my fingertips… I must admit that I wasn’t the purest of girls when… When everything changed and we took this picture.

 

I remember it was Sunday, we just had lunch and we were resting in our PJs over my bed, she was wearing a loose shirt that covered her whole and some leggings, I was in a really long crop shirt and the first pants I found in the morning. She told me we needed to buy something for the apartment that I already forgot what it was, I remember that I took the first shower and then came to my room to change, Lazuli had already left and was on her way to our bathroom as I put my underwear and… As the…. N-Naughty girl. I think I could say, that I wa… that I am, I started to roll the ropes over my body, after putting the toys in the specific places I wanted, One inside of my… my core, and the other one between my b-b-breasts, time passed by while the ropes were tightening in my body, pressing the skin and tying me over my underwear, the controls left in my nightstand.

 

Suddenly, the cracking sound of the door’s bolt, the little moment when the wood pass over the carpet and my face turning around. Suddenly, me, the great and lovable Peridot, was caught in the act, ropes thrown over my body, my underwear and the toys clearly visible over me as I faced a fastly blushing Lapis Lazuli, color reaching her ears and a predatory grin appearing in her lips.

 

Time seemingly stopped at the moment, my jaw hanging limply as the bright sun came through the windows, Lapis didn’t made a movement, she kept looking at me like a wolf ready to jump into her pray, a big red wolf; I didn’t knew what to do, I mean, my recent… obsession, had been found, she knew now about what I was keeping in my drawers and I was about to go out with her, to the store of all places, and I think she was able to place two and two to know I had done this just to go there with her, and… If I remember correctly I was so afraid, but also so ashamed, frozen in place, like an ice block waiting for any word from her, or action, or something, ready to defend myself like a cat falling in her back, like an afraid soldier in the frontlines. Lapis kept her position, her blue hair framing her perfect tanned face, her blue eyes focused on my body, piercing through my skin and against my best wishes at the moment making me feel so cold and hot at the same time, so much shyness, so much fear and cold sweat in my neck and in my back, but a hot steaming ache between my legs, an urge to jump over the controls and push all the buttons to the full extent they could go.

 

I don’t know how much time passed until she came closer and took her phone from the bed, her eyes darting through the room, without a word muttered in her voice, she turned around, ready to leave the room, until she came face to face with me again, one eyebrow raised and another look in her eyes, something I could just describe as need, as everlasting wish to claim me, so... So much want in her eyes, but those blue oceans quickly went away as she focused on my nightstand, and the two pink things over it, in a fast movement, slender fingers that weren’t mine took them in a flash, and heels turned around again.

 

The door just sounded one more time, when a pull from outside made it fit perfectly in her frame. I was alone in the middle of my bedroom, ropes against my body, toys pressed in my skin and controls in the hand of one Lapis Lazuli.

 

I didn’t moved for a long time, I just wanted to pinch my skin and feel how I woke up in a black room, how my tanned blue haired roommate haven’t come directly from the shower to my room, seeking for her phone, how Lapis Lazuli, dressing in a tank top and shorts didn’t see me almost naked in my room, What am I supposed to do now? Was everything in my mind, the confusion of the grin in her eyes mixed with the soft and cute blush that overtook her face, I was stunned in place as the sun came down, waiting for anything to do, for what should I do, Should I dress and go outside with her?, Should I bury my face in my pillow and never go out of my room again?, Should I jump from the window and accept my fate?. That I should never see someone again because I just embarrassed myself in front of the person whom I live with? As I thought that and many other things, a voice snapped me out of this trance, a silky well known one, “Peridot, Can we go please, we are running late!”.

 

Clothes flew over my body, a light long sleeved green shirt and a pair of jeans, the ropes still against my skin, and I exited the room. Lapis Lazuli was sitting on the couch, with a book in her hand and a little content smile in her lips. As soon as she saw me, she stood up and hugged me, I could feel her fingers going through the motions, touching my skin and searching for the tight strings pressed against it, going through all my back and forcing my cheeks to go into a deep red color, suddenly she stopped and was facing me, her smile having turned into a smirk, full blown and taking over all her features, the same predator one she had in the bedroom, but again she didn’t said a thing, maybe it was for minutes or one second where we hold our eyes against each other, blue against green as her oceans ate me alive, but after that the same cute and innocent smile creeped back up, and with the most soft of tones she said, “Let’s go”.

 

My fingers suddenly were captured by hers as we crossed the threshold of our apartment, a tight grip as we walked down the stairs, the rubor once again in her face, a rosy color that I loved every time it appeared. We walked together, hand in hand six floors, hand in hand while we were in the car, hand in hand as we left the place and went walking in front of the store we were supposed to go, as my eyes came with a puzzled look over her, she just smiled at me, the sweet soft smile she always had when we spent time together doing any kind of dorky stuff, the same smile she flashed at me when I focused more on her face instead of the “Camp Pining Heart” episode in front of us, the same smile that she gave me every time I came with some nerdy goodies to put in my shelves, the same smile she had with every fanfiction she found of me after reading it fully, even if she didn’t liked the same pairings as me, “I want to eat ice cream, can we go?”.

 

I was unable to say no to her, those soft lips in that specific way, that soft smile she had only in those little moments, it was an instant trigger, she could stab my arm a thousand times and just with that smile, I would forgive everything and forget that it ever happened. I let her pull myself into a little shop and buy all the ice cream she wanted, I even remember how the pineapple one tasted in my lips while we sat in a park, the sound of kids playing around us as her arm slowly crawled through my back; I focused only on eating, suddenly I was between her grip, her hand pushing me towards her body and forcin… How can I lie to you, I was so happy placing my head into her shoulder, feeling the electric contact of her arm around me, how she kept that smile all through this moments and how suddenly her breath was oh so close, close enough to hear it without even closing my eyes.

 

Her voice picked up lowly, whispering some things akin to, “Hey Peridot… Can we talked about what happened?”.

 

“W-w… What happened?” A sudden tremble in my voice, shyness and nervousness, hiding by some uncontrollable reason in the crook of her neck, her skin soft against my nose, the air filling with her perfume, sweet as the sea and intoxicating as the poison of love; Red taking my features as I nuzzled a little, waiting for her answer with closed eyes in shame; Shame of her looking at me like that, of finding everything I did at her back. Fear of her hating what I really was, a horny teenager in the body of a college girl, with a crush on her roommate and kinks all over her head.

 

“How… How I found you in your room?” Her tone as a slow tortuous question, but with a little spice of… Shyness? I separated myself a little, resting in her shoulder and watching red over her cheeks, her eyes lining with mine and going away immediately, her fingers fidgeting with one another.

 

“L-L-Lapis?” Doubt cracked my voice, I expected her to be angry, to scream or to tell me that she wasn’t going to live with me anymore, not to blush in front of me and babble words.

 

“Can we talk or not?” Her voice was a little more forceful, but it was still afraid, trembling and full of doubt.

 

“Y… Yeah we can”.

 

“I… I don’t know where to start” A tear rolled down her cheek as I watched, “I never expected things to turn like this you know?”.

 

“L-Lapis?” Panic started in my gut as the rope seemed to tighten up around my body, the last remains of ice cream fell of my hand, crashing in the ground as my hand rose to clean that tear of her face.

 

“I… I don’t even know my feelings Peridot, I want to touch you and seeing you like that made me… Happy and uneasy, and… And I want to press up these buttons and I can’t.”

 

“W-w-what are you talking about?”

 

She rose her face and her eyes showed a force, they showed a strength I didn’t know it was there.

 

“I think I like you and I haven’t realized sooner… Not when I found you with ropes all over your body, I didn’t want that to be the moment I just wanted to jump over you and push you into bed and give you the sweetest kiss ever… I… I don’t know how I feel but I want you to smile and feel happy and… and to care about you and…”

 

Her lips felt cold against mine as I jumped to capture them, just the mention of the idea of her liking me back was enough in that moment for me. My closed eyes didn’t know more, I just felt the doubt in her mouth, seconds unmoving until the started to dance with mine, slower and fearful at first, but gaining traction by the second, one of her hands wrapping in my neck, pulling me towards her, her tongue brushing my lips as I opened up, air becoming a sparse thing as I was pushed back, dominated just the way I wanted, from the person I wanted.

 

My chest was the first one that felt the vibrations as I gasped against her lips, she pulled away a little, leaving just to breathe when there was no more oxygen in me, I tried to fill my lungs but the feeling became even more powerful as I opened my eyes and saw a smirk in her face, the corner of her lips curling up as the pulses became higher and higher, any kind of normal inhalation became a pant and I moaned into the little space she gave me.

 

“You… You look cute.” She said, whispering honey sweet words into me.

 

I tried to talk, to answer, but the button in her pocket kept going higher and higher and the only thing I could do was to hug her, my arms in her back and my head hiding in her chest; The warm feeling in her neck disappeared as the potence reached her maximum, she moved her shoulder a bit, making me look up to her; A full smile had replaced her smirk and she was watching me innocently, like nothing wrong was happening under my clothes, and specially, like it wasn’t her fault.

 

“Should we take a picture to remember this moment?” She wiggled her phone as she lifted it a little, I could only nod against her skin, my egoist desires getting the best out of me, if this was everything I could have from her, I would get as much as I could.

 

“Watch the camera.” Her tone had a warning behind, my veins started to carry fire instead of blood as all my body felt hot, she was very good doing this and it was turning me on so much. I lifted my eyes a little and I found her arm raised and the two of us in the phone.

 

“I want you to smile normally like the good girl you are.” I blushed and turned fully red in the image, but tried to give her what she wanted.

 

She captured the image and let her arm fall, turning her head and kissing my forehead.

 

“L-Lapi-”. Her finger touched lightly my lips.

 

“Shh… Let’s go back home… And… Peri.” She grew apart, warm but cold blue eyes focused on mine, “I hope you don’t finish on your way there.”

 

It wasn’t an order per se, but I knew I wouldn’t want to go against her wishes.

 

The vibrations didn’t stopped while we were on the car, I tried biting my lip once, my hands on my knees and my eyes closed, focusing, I didn’t wanted to make a sound and specially I didn’t wanted to end there, in the middle of the road on our way back.

 

A warm inviting feeling was placed over my fingers, I opened my lids slowly, finding a tanned hand over mine, grabbing it lightly, pressing a little as her thumb started to roll over my skin, a new kind of shiver started to climb in my back as the movement became to pace out.

 

I closed my eyes again.

 

“We are getting home soon Peridot” She whispered and I could catch it over the car engine with luck, “You are doing it great my sweet heart.”

 

The little praises she left made my heart jump over and over again, fluttering and pulsating in her chest, as the little pieces of plastic were over my skin; I kept my eyes closed in entire focus, listening the cars go around us, how the sound of streets passing by changed the ambient in my ears, I heard the car stop and the hold tightening in my hand, I heard a little whisper, “We are here”.

 

My green eyes opened a little, mind still focusing on, the speed down from the maximum in one moment that I haven’t noticed; at my side Lapis Lazuli tilted her head and smiled at me as she pushed her door open.

 

I exited the car and walked with her into the elevator. A couple was making small talk and holding hand; Lapis didn’t say a thing, but the back of my hand felt the light brush of her fingers as the box started to go upstairs.

 

We turned left and then right when the doors opened in our floor, Lapis got her key and entered our place, waiting by the door, I crossed the threshold and the world became black.

 

My back hit the closing door as hungry lips claimed mine, possessive and melting me into little pieces, her hands in my neck, making me look up and giving her a little more of space as her tongue came into my mouth, I gasped at the kiss, my fingers starting to find her hips, pulling her towards me as she kept going, kissing and going deeper and deeper, without giving me a chance of doing anything, eating me, devouring me just the way I’ve dreamed for so long.

 

Lungs burning pushed her away.

 

“You don’t know how much I wanted to do this.” She whispered, breath hitting my neck until I felt two teeths dig into my skin, I moaned loudly, the vibrators, the rope and the fact that it was LAPIS FREAKING LAZULI biting my neck, my hands traveling upwards to her hair, tightening and even tugging a little, Lapis just continued leaving little bites, her kitten tongue apologizing after each and every one of those, and my moans going over and over, pressed against the wooden door.

 

I didn’t noticed when my hand took hold of almost all her hair and pulled, but she did and looked me at my eyes, “You are misbehaving Peridot.” She whispered so erotically something else tingled inside of me; Suddenly the vibrators were at full potency and a knee was pressed against my hot and dripping core, “Do you want to finish?” She breathed, kissing the corners of my lips, her knee moved a little, making me whimper under her, she pushed a little and made another moan come out of my mouth, “Convince me.”

 

“P-Please Lapis” I didn’t knew that begging could feel that good at the time, but I wasn’t in the mood to say anything she wanted to hear, I just wanted her to know… I needed her to know… I needed her help, “I need this… Please… I love you Lapis… Please.”

 

She just stopped and I jumped at the train, I was desperate and in need, my knees giving up but I continued pushing myself over her leg and hiding my face in her shoulder, muting my mouth biting the rough fabric of her clothes and I was driven more and more by myself against a frozen Lapis.

 

She moved away a little and kissed me once again; This time their lips felt sugary sweet, it was a chaste and slow kiss, not like the first one she gave me against the door, but slow to the point where it was even painful, trying to convey the feelings I wouldn’t find out she had for me in quite some time. But even that was enough to drive me over my limit, panting over her mouth, moaning and shivering I felt my whole body rocking an orgasm as her hands holded me, all the strength I once had leaving my body as I leaned, almost limply, into her.

 

She didn’t said a word, but she picked me up, her hands grabbing me from under my arms and letting me rest in her neck, I was hanging like a tired koala into her as she walked into her room, the messy place with the curtains down, the bed undone where we fell together, some clothes in the floor that I could notice before she kissed me again, slow once again, her hands in my back and starting to take my clothes, her cold fingers over the small of my back and pushing my shirt up and up until she took it off, pulling her lips away for just the necessary time.

 

Next up she turned me in her hold, sitting me in the legs as her fingers started to work in my pants, her mouth latching in my neck and sucking lightly, closer to my shoulder in a place I could hide it, but that made me shiver and moan once again; After that the vibrations were stopped, her arms pushing my pants down and off, leaving me only in my undergarments and the thick rope in my body.

 

One of her fingers traced the ropes over my skin slowly, as she left little kissed over my now purple skin; She didn’t said a word, but her lips never stopped working, kissing and biting lightly until she found the first knot, skillful fingers undid it pretty quickly, and then the next one and the next one, one by one until my neck was full of kisses and my body was free of the ropes. 

 

She didn't said a word when she groped my chest, first over my bra, and then letting it fall, slowly, her fingers first touching then pressing a little the hard nubs that were standing in my now naked chest, her kisses were reaching my cheek as two of her fingers started to roll out my nipples, drawing excited moans and empty jerks of my hips into the air, searching for some pressure, for the contact I craved.

 

Her other hand first teased me, playing outside my panties, touching my wet slit with the clothes between the fingers I needed, primal desires taking everything as I kept trying to get that hand closer, but with every push I did, her finger grew apart just the same, whining slowly, Lapis moved her hand into the last piece of clothes that was decorating my body, and I felt heaven as one finger teased me over and over again.

 

When a kiss became another bite, sucking strongly in my neck, both of her fingers in the hardened nipple pressed and also pulled, but her torture didn’t stopped there, in the other hand, first one and quickly two fingers made it’s way inside of me, scissoring at first, and then just pumping in and out, in and out at a slow pace that became frantic by the second.

 

My tights twitched as I got closer to the needed climax, my mouth a circle as I moaned loudly into the air.

 

And her fingers where no more.

 

Like a power cut, all feeling became undone, I still felt her pressed against my back, but no longer were her fingers playing, pushing and punishing my skin, no longer were those white teeth ravishing my pale skin, but just the air she left with each breath growing cold at the wet skin of my shoulder, full of the little kisses she had left.

 

And just as they were gone, they began anew.

 

I don’t know how many times she edged me that afternoon, but I remember the day turning into night and Lapis Lazuli, meticulously, pushing me over and over without rest, she never said a word for as long as she kept going, until one single whisper reached my ear.

 

“I could let you finish… With one condition.”

 

I had spent the last four or five times begging, my voice was already raw but I managed to answer her in a scream between my pleasure, “Y-Yes… A… Anything.”

 

“You can only finish if you accept being my girlfriend.”

 

At the time, there were a lot of factors, the need for release, the surprise and the desire of being something of her, of the crush I had harbored for years, that pushed me to scream, loud and clear, “YES… YES… YES.”

 

She was true to her word and this time she didn’t stopped until all my body was spasming in the glow of a climax.

 

I can barely remember that she said “I love you.” Or maybe that was my imagination, after all, that was everything little old Peridot wanted at the time.

 

In the morning, I woke up cuddling against a still dressed Lapis Lazuli, hiding in her chest and with a really sore body.

 

Everything felt like a dream and a nightmare at the same time, but I knew it was truth for the pulsating pain in my shoulder and the lack of clothes in my body.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

Lapis was surprised when she got home and found in my nightstand the photograph of that first day, standing in front of some books.

 

She kissed my lips slowly, as we had grown accustomed to after so many years.

 

“I still remember that day… Sorry for being such a bad person.” She whispered slowly, eyes filled with remorse.

 

“Lapis… Don’t say that… I love you… All is forgiven and you know that.”

 

This time the kiss wasn’t on my lips, instead her mouth breathed the air that I needed in my forehead, her voice picking up shortly after.

 

“I know my beautiful princess… But I will say it every time, I behaved like a monster back then… I still don’t know why you still wanted to be with me.”

 

I kissed her neck, enjoying how her spine shivered in the tips of my fingers, “I was, I am and I will be in love with you, you silly, that’s why I’ve always wanted and I’ll always want to be your girlfriend.”

 

She blushed before kissing me again and flopping in bed with me.

 

“Have I ever told you how much I love you… because that’s a lot.”

 

I turned in her hold and hid in her neck.

 

“Yeah you have, but I love when you tell me…”

 

As I breathe the perfect smell of Lapis Lazuli, she kept whispering how much she loved me, her sweet little Peridot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was kinda overdue!
> 
> I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! What will happen next? I wanna read all your theories!!
> 
> Thank you for being here.


	3. Same Difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a really detailed dark moment in this episode, I don't know how to tag it, you can leave ideas in the comments, but I would be grateful that you avoid it if you can be hurt by it.

The sun was falling through the half open curtains, bathing Peri’s white, milky skin with ambrosia gold, her freckles were shining down, like little bright stars in a map created only for me, one I could follow back home, back between her arms, squishing my hips and her face digging in my chest, her breath slow and methodical as always, hitting cold against the darker skin in the top of my breasts; I traced a finger in her back, lying to myself that the reason was to cover her with the blankets once again, but letting my hand roam from the first little point, in the lower point of her back, just before her ass start, joining all the dots that would bring me back to her, I know she’s a deep sleeper, specially if we had one (or various) different activities in the night, but enjoying her like this, pressed against my body, so small, so insecure, but yet so safe and trustful, so open to me, and JUST to me… It could never stop the shiver that ran through my back; This girl, the love of my life, now trusts blindly in me.

 

And the voice in the back of my head ask over and over, “Why?”.

 

And I come back to the first night she was like this, between my arms, in the nude, and with the most beautiful faces of them all pressed against my bare chest.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

The moment I opened my eyes I crashed with reality the hard way; it is not like the times you clash with a wall covered by feathers and blankets, like smashing against the sweet mattress I was lying in, when I opened my eyes I faced this huge, tall wall, concrete with bricks under it, as I was driving those test car at a shit ton miles per hour and crashing without any safety equipment; If I were an anime character I would be dying right now, from lack of blood in my body and making the bare body of Peridot red instead of her usual pale.

 

When I opened my eyes, the sun passed lightly through the half closed curtains, bathing in a brown light my roommate’s naked skin, little freckles splashed in her whole back as she rested her head pressed against my still dressed chest.

 

And my heart became a symphony as soon as a second passed with that image in from of my eyes, doing flips back and forth, triple and quadruple mortal jumps, swimming laps around her rib cage and stopping in an attack.

 

My hands were trembling in excitement and nerves as I touched her back, my darker skin contrasting so completely with her, my whole hand traveling from neck to her back, her body shaking a little, stirring in her sleep and nuzzling against my touch, hiding her face deeper between my neck and shoulder, closer to my chest as I got her closer.

 

And seconds turned into minutes, that quickly became hours passed like this, my heart, unflinching and uncaring, jumping up and down and she slowly breathed in and out, her chest a close beating, like seconds I could count against my ribs, one, two, three, four, five, six, eight, ten, fifteen and infinity.

 

I let my body fall into this cold comfort while she was still resting, her body another of the covers protecting me from the cold morning, my mind set in one simple thought.

 

“I fucked up.”

 

It wasn’t just the fact of having done  _ that _ to Peridot, I took advantage of her position, I never asked her much and I just blurted the threat of making her my girlfriend to let her finish, to get her more up to this I captured her in her weakest moment, I pushed a toy inside and out, I pushed my fingers and I tortured her with pleasure, I manipulated her feelings to let me do anything I wanted.

 

From the fucked up, my mind jumped to me feeling like a monster, at my side, naked, is a girl I clearly like, but… But it was too much for myself, find her in that position, I used her, as much as I could, this blonde, cute, pure and innocent girl that was just in front of me, She let me use her, but… But it wasn’t her fault I’m the monster, that I used her feelings against her and I fucked her senseless against a mattress just because it was the opportunity.

 

A tear rolled through my cheek and I closed my eyes, my arm closed around her, my hand possessive in her back, trying to milk away the last seconds of her contact in my clothes, a barrier leaving her so close yet so far. This is the girl I like, a girl I genuinely love and I broke every part of the trust she could have for me… I’m a monster and she shouldn’t be around me anymore… But I want to have her, oh god how much I want her…

 

Let me enjoy this last moment, mind, please…

 

I kept my eyes closed as I heard her breath hitch, and her arms push her away, I heard the ruffling of clothes, one after the other, and I heard muffled sobs, I wanted to stand up and hug her… But I couldn’t, after all I wasn’t strong enough.

 

She let the door close slowly, and it almost didn’t made a sound, I opened my eyes and found the same room, but neither her clothes were there, nor her presence.

 

And probably she shouldn’t be here in a long time… if not ever.

 

I turned in my bed and let the tears flow while she was away… She shouldn’t see me like this, she won’t see me like this.

 

During the rest of the day I didn’t see her, her room’s door closed and I didn’t even noticed her going to get some food from my doorstep, my hands glued to the keyboard, typing away the last papers I had to do for this semester while my mind kept traveling between sane and broken thoughts, from Peridot’s touch in my skin, from the little begging sounds she made when she was so close, I could remember how Peridot seemed to enlarge when she felt she was about to come, and also how she shrinked when I denied her.

 

And then her yes, in retrospective entirely my fault, but what could I do there!? I have between my hands the woman that made me fall for her during the last months, I was knuckle deep in the dripping cunt of the girl of my dreams, I was in an image taken out of my own wet ones, and she was willing, and I drank of that forbidden chalice, not one sip but the whole cup and asked her, begged and forced her to accept for her to become my girlfriend, I took away her freedom for a fleeting desire, who’s to tell me she really likes me back, who can prove me that she actually has this feelings for me, that her ‘I love you’ was what she really feels and not something said in the spur of a hot moment, me actually pinning her to the wall with kisses and teasing.

 

Here they come, like crows feeding on my disgrace, the screams of truth, “Monster” they say in the back of my head and overtake everything, “Monster” and I wish to stop them , “Monster” they whisper when I face my own frame in the mirror and see a feral, untamable beast, ready to pounce and hurt everyone, specially her, “Monster” they screams when I realize I haven’t seen Peridot in the last 3 days, ever since I woke up against her beautiful, cold, naked body, so close to her and yet so far, about to be hers but even farther away from a random person that didn’t even knew her.

 

In the meantime classes had passed, come and gone, my blonde companion always going even earlier than what I expected, and when I arrived late from work, she was already tucked in her bed. No words exchanged for days, days that turned into a week, and in turned into a trance; day after day it was the same, week days where she always went out earlier and was asleep by the time I came back hom… to our apartment; On weekends, she kept her door closed and I could hear the japanese voices of animations, or the sounds of the games she loved, but nothing to see of her pale face, neither their lovable green eyes, her blonde hair… nothing at all.

 

Night’s were the worst part for me, during that time, I layed in bed eyes open, I could still feel hot the space where we were sitting that fateful night, I could still feel the slickness between my fingers, but it wasn’t there anymore, the other option, not watching the ceiling and the little cracks that appeared in the corners, counting them one by one, like branches of a never ending, always changing tree, was to close my eyes and face myself; Feel Peridot by my side, feel her body pressed and relaxed at my side, feel a smile in her lips and a blush in her cheeks; Closing my eyes meant seeing myself in the mirror. Closing my eyes lead to sleep, dreams like a labyrinth, ones that proved my Peridot was my Adriane, and without her semblance, I was like any of the youths left in the middle of it, just a piece of meat for the Minotaur, myself, to eat away into oblivion. Closing my eyes meant waking up with tears in my eyes and the whimper of her name, closing my eyes meant falling deeper into a pit that I wanted to climb out of so badly, but each time I stood outside the door, my knuckles ready to knock, to call for her in desperation, I was reminded that I was the one that pushed her away… And that it was better this way. 

 

A week had passed without any contact, without any words or without even seeing her blonde hair and her pure face, It had been a week when I opened the door, already 10 days since that fateful morning, and the cracking sound of something falling in the bathroom; it was light, little, I would usually not even pick it up, but the place was dark and I couldn’t even hear the sound of a TV or cars downstairs, it was just the perfect place, the perfect mixture of things, coming up later than usual, the lack of noise, the pitch black place, and the clash of plastic against the floor.

 

When I turned in the corner, I saw a small light came under the bathroom’s door, small, delicate, but so clear, carefully distinguishing itself from the pure contrast that was this closed apartment. I walked carefully, my shoes already in my hand and my naked feet not even cracking the wood under, step by step, one after the other, second by second, afraid, trembling, knowing the possibility, even stupid if I rationally think about it, of scaring the light away, one after the other, just focusing on giving lightness to my toes, sliding them over the floor instead of stomping, trying to keep that line of light guiding me.

 

I was so focused, so preoccupied in not making any kind of noise that when I stepped in front of the doors, that was the first time I heard the muffled sobs that came from inside, one after the other, without stopping, broken, not just broken tears, but breaking me, because they were in her voice, the person dying, literally drying itself, crying rivers at the other side of the threshold was Peridot.

 

And they weren’t quiet, if I closed my eyes I could feel them, loud sobs, shaking her whole body as she kept herself in one corner of the bathroom, crying, suffering, and why?, What for?, There was just one simple answer to that, it was just so clear and also making me so afraid, it was the confirmation of an unspoken question, the thing I knew but I wished I could forget, that I could evade with all my heart. At the other side of the threshold was Peridot crying for me.

 

Because they weren’t only muffled sobs, breaking the quiet atmosphere, they weren’t just body shaking tears, making me feel an earthquake inside, making all the butterflies I had inside run in every direction, clog at my throat and choke me, pull my heart to every different side and breaking it in a thousand pieces; it wasn’t just her endless pain, slipping through the little line of light I could see under the door; it was the unequivocally fact that between all the pain, suffering, all the water she was draining through the eyes, she kept saying my name, at the other side of the threshold was Peridot, crying for me, telling my name and showing me how I broke her heart. 

 

I don’t know how I found myself, later, in my room, I didn’t know that I actually holded this quantity of water, because I cried like no other time in my life, all the tears I’ve dropped in the last 240 hours were nothing compared to what I was doing now, sobbing, suffering and dying there, sitting alone in the same room where I made twisted, dark love to the girl of my life, hugging the unwelcoming pillow and crying into it, muffling my voice as much as I could, Peridot didn’t need to know this, Peridot will never know this because I made this, I not only broke myself, my heart, my future and my only important relationship, now I had palpable proof that I also broke the heart of the purest girl I’ve ever met, one that was cute, one that always had a smile for me, one that could blush to the first teasing word, but could endure being at my side, the one that in my most desperate moment showed me gratitude and gave me a place to live, I heard Peridot cry, whispering, screaming my name in the bathroom, thinking I wasn’t there, I knew I was the one to blame, breaking the most amazing person I’ve ever met.

 

And no amount of things would change that.

 

I have no idea of when the thought came into my mind, just… Happened, a long weekend that allowed me to close the door from inside, lock passed and not letting anyone through, not eating, drinking the bare minimum I could, from a 2 liters bottle I had store somewhere, throwing every little thing with pent up rage, with sheer frustration and pain, from one side to the other, and maybe back, maybe more than once, shirts, pants, little memories… I knew it was an overreaction to everything, but… It made me feel better, I felt like I just let my instincts guide me, like I was accepting this feral, dangerous and monstrous part of me, like I had become this thing that hurled wildly, spitting words full of venom when you were the most vulnerable, pushing anyone to my desires, using them as tools, it felt… Satisfying, but… It was like a dagger, every time I saw my shirt flying it sank deeper and deeper inside of me, twisting and turning and not just in my heart, in my stomach and in my throat, cutting circulation, not letting me breath, feeling like if I swallowed something it would get stuck in there, never going further. I felt ripped off but… Deserved… For hours I kept throwing stuff everywhere, passing out that night in self hatred and exhaustion in the middle of the room, in a mountain of now really not organized clothes.

 

I woke up the next day feeling my whole body sore, my head pumping like a maniac, from nightmares, from pain and from the way my body was thrown over the shit I’ve done. I moved slowly, dizzy and trembling, actually trembling in my hands and knees, falling into a corner of the room, falling into the saddest and cruelest realization of them all, but also the only one that made some kind of sense in the middle of this turbulent river.

 

I have to move out.

 

So, with two more days in front of me, considering that Monday was actually a holiday I can’t remember what about, I started slowly preparing my things in the bag I kept under my bed, organizing them after the chaos I produced with them, one by one, focusing only on the task at hand.

 

I could swear that, in this state, lacking food and even a little dehydrated, it was like a trance, I felt it going so slowly but, at the same time, just… Weird, I could swear I heard knocking noises outside my door, but that couldn’t be… No one would be outside this door wanting to talk with me, moments passed so differently, sometimes they seemingly went honey slow, like falling from a spoon at no speed, maybe even frozen in time, and then it was like boiling water, exploding in front of me, going at a faster pace than I expected, suddenly light was no more and I faced a half destroyed room that night, things out of place, still thrown into all directions; I went into bed that night, draping me between the disorganized covers, tucking me in and crying into my pillow once again, fading out in some point.

 

The open curtains let the sun hit me straight in the face when it rose up, forcing my eyes open, starting once again with the monotonous task, this time it wasn’t just the joints of my body creaking, it was my stomach aching, different from the dagger pain, more dull and persistent, not like a stab but like a wave, like passing water, always staying; my arms and legs felt funny, playful and more tired than before, the bottle of water was empty after I drank the last few sips, less than a quarter to go in my morning, slowly, part by part, filling my bag, filling my way out of this place, out of this room and more importantly, out of Peridot’s life, so I can’t hurt her anymore.

 

The sun was at its highest point when I finished. Tired limbs walking into the door and unlocking it, carrying my tired and almost useless body to the kitchen, slowly and leaning to the wall, finally realizing that what I felt was my own stupid fault, overextending myself without an ounce of energy left, without food and almost without water, not enough to kill me but enough to leave me in a not good state, physically I mean, because mentally I was already in shit town.

 

There was a plate covered, a post it note in fast scribbles plastered on top of it, handwriting I would recognize everywhere, a little pressed together, small but with also some impact, just like her, a yellow piece of paper with the words, “Food, please eat Lapis.” by Peridot’s hand, I opened the plate to find some fries and a piece of chicken and even with my tired body, I had to chuckle, she remembered the simple things that I liked the most.

 

I sat in the sofa, gulping the food down without thinking, falling into a content sigh in the end; calm and… Like nothing had ever happened, but I knew something did, I just sat in there, my body now full of food, nothing more on my plate, wishing this moment never stopped, wishing that I could keep myself in here, just like I was now; in the perfect combination of everything I liked, loved, cared and… And I wanted, but at my doorstep my bags were ready, at my room was emptied and… And I was ready to leave this place forever… I was ready to leave her life forever.

 

It was hard, It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, standing up, deciding to walk up to my room, deciding to end this up, after eating the food she got for me, never questioning myself the why, the reason behind it, it was harder than I could ever imagined, walking through the corridor, one step after the other, with heavier feet every time, turning in the corner of my doorstep.

 

And there was her.

 

“You leaving?” Her words sounded so foreign but familiar, her voice sounded hoarse but perfect, her question was at the same time hurting and freeing, her face was filled with suffering but also… Care? Love? Need? I couldn’t quite place it.

 

It was celestial, out of this world, a little pout in her lower lip, the sunlight hitting her perfectly in the side, making some of her hair pass from her natural blonde into pure white, shadows making the other side like a pure light brunette, green eyes slightly wet, focusing on me, big black bags under it, contrasting to the whitests of pales that was her whole skin, freckles shining, her whole body… Irradiating light, it wasn’t like she was there, receiving the sun, it was like she was the one, the sun, the moon, the stars, shining bright over me, in front of me… For me.

 

“You leaving?” She asked again, voice more stable, steady, the pout more clear with her words, her eyes tearing up and rising, like a little plea, a silent begging; Words choke in my throat as I tried to push then out, a simple yes, not even an explanation, but they were trapped in a knot, it hurted pushing them away, but I tried for several seconds, trying and trying and shaming myself, not being able even answer Peridot, this girl that faced me just in the last moment, even when I didn’t deserve it, my vision fell into my feet, my shoes, black details more important than anything else but becoming slowly blurry when her mutters broke the atmosphere.

 

“I mean… I understand… Who would like to live with a manipulative person like me?”.

 

Can you imagine a crack in the wall? Where it starts and how it travels, trembling, like a badly written line, like the weird thing you have as a first signature, Can you imagine it? Growing bigger with the years, expanding and traveling to side to side? Now imagine that in a conversation, words so strong, so unexpected that leave a crack in the middle of a room; I felt the lightning different when my eyes rose, the welling of water falling slowly through my cheeks; All the signs seemed different, this time the pout was not an angry one, but it was a please stay, this time her eyes weren’t caring, but they were afraid, this time her hair had lost all shining light, it was a darkened tone, fading away in the black places of the room, where the midday sun didn’t arrived. Peridot seated in the middle of an undone bed, no covers and just a blanket wrapped in the end, her slim arms hugging one knee, her loose shirt falling into the mattress and her left leg dangling, moving a little, naked feet tapping the floor each time they grew close, not doing much, the same scene that moments ago seemed angelic now was painted with black and white, depressing me, forcing me to…

 

“What do you mean?” My voice cracked, even when I didn’t want it to, I wanted to hold a steady tone, to transmit my question fully, not a broken version of it.

 

She coughed first, dry, before speaking once again, “I said… Why would you stay on the same roof as the girl that manipulated you to fuck her senseless.” I tried to say more words, but in a fast display she stood, almost jumping from the bed and walked into me. “Why would you stay with a crappy small woman that used you, telling you I love you and humping in your leg, one that instead of confessing her feelings had to show herself naked for you to come closer?!.” She put her left foot in front of the right one, and then the other way around pretty quickly, with a finger pointed at my chest, “I mean, I get it, I’m a small girl, I don’t have huge assets, I don’t have anything going for me and I couldn’t even SAY A FUCKING WORD TO YOU, I’ve been with this stupid highschool crush since the day I MET YOU all those years ago and I never said anything… And then I come and push you to do my bidding, manipulating you with actions and words, using things as powerful as love as a tool for you to do what I wanted… So I ask you why!... Why and who would like to stay with a little manipulative girl like me?” Her finger touched my crop top, pressing itself against my collarbone and her eyes shone again, but with a painful and angry light, not angry at me, not at all, all that pent up rage at herself.

 

“Peridot?” A line of voice came through my mouth when she stood there, just in front of me, her accusing finger burning my skin and the heat traveling from there like a virus, in my veins to every part of my body.

 

“Answer me… Please.” This time her tone was tired, back to the original begging, the one she used when I first stepped in this threshold.

 

“Yes… I’m leaving… I will not stay here to hurt you anymore.” I don’t know how I pushed all of that outside my mouth, but it was there, I said it, and Peridot took it as a bullet, giving two uncertain steps back and watching me with incredulous open eyes. “You used me?! Hey! I Took the controllers, I USED THEM IN PUBLIC, IN THE PARK, I edged you, over and over again and I FORCED you to accept being my girlfriend under the threat of not letting you finish if you said no… If we’re talking about manipulating the other… I think we already know the monster that lives in this apartment.”

 

“What do you mean?” She seemed out of place, her eyes wide and her sad demeanor being overtook by surprise.

 

“What I said, I’m the monster… Not you.”

 

I didn’t expect what happened next, not in all my years.

 

Her arms pressing in my back, her head buried in my chest, the unexpected weight making me retreat enough steps until I had my back against the wall and I was almost falling of it.

 

“Peridot?” I asked again, this time for a whole nother reason. She moved her green emeralds to face mine, focusing in tears, in pain, in desperation, in everything.

 

“You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met… Never a monster; I forgive you.”   
  


It wasn’t high, it was a mere whisper, being pushed lightly from her lips, a response to a questions I haven’t asked, the words I loved, I needed, but at the same time the ones I didn’t deserved, but hearing them… It felt just right. Just as right as what happened next.

 

My fingers found her cheeks, my fingers traveled lightly through it, touching the little freckles I loved, she wasn’t wearing her glasses, but I could notice her immense concentration in me, in my persona, I carefully passed them through her cheeks, drying the little of tears in there, noticing all the little details so close in her skin, letting me be captured by the minute, by the second, by the moment, feeling something so different at the other side of the crack, having her so close that all my motivation to leave her alone shattered in an instant.

 

“I like you…”

 

I whispered, She did too… Or maybe neither did… Maybe it was just her, or only me, anyway, I heard it, I know I said it, but I couldn’t be sure because gravity or another celestial, fateful or even scientific force pushed us together.

 

Her lips felt so right against mine, without strength or displeasure, but simple lines written in a book, clashing and touching, lightly, like she was made of the finest papers, the most delicate of silks or an old china teacup. Her mouth felt chaste against me, first to one side and then the other, our noses colliding but we didn’t care, it was slow, methodical, it was a move, a wave, the whole sea or maybe a lake, it was arriving to port after a long trip, it was the thing I expected with more anticipation in the entire world, pressing my lips to her, buried almost 2 weeks under the self hatred I gave myself, without considering what Peridot felt, but it wasn’t the moment to talk about it, because my mouth was everywhere, parting my lips a little to feel her tongue explore with care, with fear but with decision, with purpose.

 

Her hands were falling from my back, touching my legs and starting to go up and up and then more up, grabbing the hem of my clothes and then letting it fall after passing her fingers over my bare skin, this time their hands ended up as high as they could, wrapped around my neck pulling me down as my hands start to do the same trip, but hungrier, deeper, with her consent when I grab her shirt and pull it down, her nodding lightly in the kiss that was becoming more and more heated, separating a little for air, gasping quickly as our mouths were united by a thin, transparent bridge of saliva, and then traveling back again, to capture each other, giving me enough time to pull it full of her, facing her naked torso, her pert breasts in the air, when we joined again.

 

I discovered that afternoon that my brain has an on and off function that only Peridot’s kisses can unlock, I can remember how we started but there’s this lake in the middle, the next thing I remember is her, so hungrily kissing me against the wall, her legs draped in my midsection, like she had climbed over me, I walked carrying her in my arms, like a koala, until my knees clashed with the almost empty bed, letting her fall with me on top, her arms falling from my neck once again, but this time keeping themselves on the hem of my shirt, pulling it out from my body when I gasped away for air, I saw her smile, all flushed, red in her cheeks, a content line full in her lips when her legs force our position, turning me on my back and trapping me between the legs of a smirking hot, smoking sexy and really cute blonde… The same that stole my heart.

 

She dipped, not slowly but certainly not fast, kissing my now sore, swollen lips for a second until they parted, going to my cheek and my jaw, kissing lovingly my whole face before descending and kissing my neck, hiding in place and whispering sweets words while her fingers fiddled with the clasp of my bra and I arched my back, looking for the more direct contact I could get, “Lapis… Can I keep kissing you?” She said, hidden in the crook of my neck and making my face feel even hotter, this time for another fully different reason, “I wanna kiss you so badly, your body, your face, your everything, this is everything in my mind, you are everything in it… You are the one I want by my side in the bad and in the good… I’m sorry I manipulated you… I was so afraid and… Please stay… Let me kiss the worries away, the fears, let me kiss the determination of leaving away and stay with me… Let me love you, learn to do it… Let me please, is everything I want…”.

 

I nodded when my underwear hit the floor, and I felt her going deeper, it wasn’t forceful like our first time… like when I touched her and left all her shoulders full of marks, like when I edged her, her teeths never appeared in all the times that she kissed my neck, my shoulders and my collarbones, sliding down and down until she trapped one of my nipples, already hard and throbbing, between her lips, kissing it, sucking it without any damage left behind, licking apologetic, loving, making me gasp, moan, curl my hands in her hair, so intimate, so pure, so perfect that I didn’t even feel the need to tug, just the contact with her scalp was enough, enough to make her go deeper, go faster, kiss another wet trail to my other needy breast and doing the same treatment, the best medicine, capturing me in a whirlwind of passion, of need, of pure pleasure.

 

It was so much that I never noticed my pants falling to the ground and the cold air hitting my wet slit until her beautifully perfect blonde hair kept going down and down, kissing all over my torso, my stomach, my hips, my navel and falling of the bed to start down and up, my legs and my thighs, never ever leaving pain behind, just the sweetest of kisses over and over, reaching between my legs and stopping once again. I lifted my head out of the bed, after moaning and digging inside of the mattress with it for so long, to look at Peridot with one eyebrow raised, she smiled and, hitting with her hot breath all over my core, leaving me insane with need, lust and everything, she asked.

 

“This time I’m doing this the right way… Can I keep going please, Lapis Lazuli?”

 

My name was like honey, falling from a panel slowly, but sweetly, rolling perfectly of her lips, her cares were cute, perfect, made her seem even more like the perfect partner I wanted her to be, it made me blush, it made me more driven into this deep admiration, care and love I felt for her, it made me realize how much I cared, how much I needed her… And how much I meant to her… It made me think of the bad times and dismiss them just as quickly, because Peridot was asking at the doors of my undone body and she needed an answer, “Please” I managed to say, weakly.

 

And she gave, and I recieved, and I had her face digging inside of me, kisses and then long strips, slow and fast, enough and not much, overwhelming and just so little, first kissing all my dripping slip, then dragging her tongue over and inside, digging deep and my hands found her hair again, as my hips wildly swinged against her face and as I screamed in pleasure, but that wasn’t enough, because then her skilled mouth moved over to a swollen, pulping bud and circled her lips around it, making my whole world white in a second, she kissed and licked, she pushed and even sucked a bit, she dragged her lip for leverage, touching my most private and excitable part as she dragged her tongue through the roughest parts of my insides, stars and pure pleasure flooded my senses when she made me undone under her expert touch, one that I’ve never felt but it was so full of love and… experience? Skill? That had me moaning to the air and pushing myself into her even after the orgasm, letting her tongue eat me out during it and ever after, when my back hitted the empty bed once again.

 

She smiled at me, throwing herself to my side seconds after, nuzzling like a small cat in my ribs and hiding her face in my shoulder when I regained movement, instead of the senseless pleasure movement she drew of me, I could hear her say something but I didn’t understand what was it, still in the afterglow of such a perfect, long drown finish, I turned to my side, finding her red face some inches under mine, hiding now in the white surface of the bunk.

 

“What did you say?” My voice was wasted after all the screaming she forced out of my body, but it was still enough to whisper some words to the most beautiful face in the world.

 

“C-C-Can you touch me?... I need it… Please?” She stammered really slowly, shyness overtaking her and making even her ears red, deep and really, really cute.

 

“Only if you let me…” I answered.

 

She nodded slowly, turning and letting her back get in the mattress, I crawled at her side and kissed her cheek, chaste and loving, my fingers quickly opening her pants and letting them, as well as her undergarments, fall into the ground; She moved her head, questioning what was I doing, I grew a little apart while letting my index finger run a long strip up and down her wet core, enjoying how she trembled just by that single movement as I came close to her ear, to whisper the words I wanted the most.

 

“I wanna show you something.” I said, my finger going inside of her slowly, little by little, not going all the way before retreating, to a bratty whimper from her mouth… Maybe in the future there was time to teach her that this is not the way… If we keep doing stuff together… If after tonight we don’t explode, but this night was not for this; As soon as my finger was completely outside, but coated in her wetness, I dipped it inside once more, with the same slow pace, but this time it wasn’t the only thing she got from me.

 

“Peridot, You’ve been everything in my mind the past years.” I said as my entire finger was inside of her, and I started to, at the same speed, take it out, “Your perfect hair, your beautiful smile, those emerald you have for eyes, the precious gem, perfect that you are” This time I not only digged one finger, but two, the pressure pleasurable even for me, the speed not enough as I could see in her face and in the sounds she made, in the way she opened her eyes in ecstasy and jerked herself against my slow hand, “Your pale skin and your freckles, your attitude, you the biggest nerd with the most beautiful heart, you the one that cares about everyone, you that gave me a home, you, the one at my side every time and in everything.” My two fingers came outside while I whispered this and I deemed it enough to start. My palm pressed against the place where her clit was as my fingers picked up speed, pushing inside of her without remorse, never stopping as I kept singing her praises, “Peridot, you are a diamond in the rough, you are a lovable, perfect girl, I don’t deserve you but oh how much do I want to, I want to be at your side, I want to love you, I want to hug you every day and wake up by your side, I want to protect you and I want to show you how much you mean to me… I won’t say anything rushed, I learned from my mistakes, I won’t push you away ever again… I won’t rush this, Because you are everything to me Peri, you are my sun and my stars, the moon, the whole sky, you are the floor, the rocks that give me stability, that allows me to find solid ground. You Peridot are the most important person in the world… And I’ll show you this, not with words but actions… I’ll show you how you glow, you brilliant gem, I’ll love you like you deserve, and I will let this perfect girl be even better... Or I’ll try.”

 

She shivered at my side, coming after the words, I milked her wholy through it, whispering the sweetest praises, even if they were the same words she already heard, I kept saying them, how beautiful she is, how perfect she is… How Peridot she exists. I touched the other side of the mattress until I felt the only blanket in there, and I brought it to our tired bodies, I covered her with it and then my own arm served as my pillow, she nuzzled in my chest and drifted off to sleep, I did the same some seconds after.

 

The sun was falling through the half open curtains, bathing Peridot’s milky, white skin with the goddesses gold, her tiny freckles were shining under this light, a star map created for my fingertips after this night, I traveled my fingers, from the curve of her butt to her neck, pulling the blanket with my hand and covering her wholly, making use of the knowledge that she’s a heavy sleeper. I enjoyed how she nuzzled at my side, much closer than when we were separated by useless clothes, her face hidden in my skin, her smell all over my nose, her scent here, her body pressed against mine and her lips kissing my neck.

 

“I like you, Lapis Lazuli.”

 

“I like you, Peridot.”

 

And that morning, everything was good in the world.

* * *

* * *

* * *

 

I kept my eyes closed when I felt her open her eyes, growing away of me and pawing a little at my side… She ate the bait and walked carefully outside, closing the door.

 

I opened my eyes and focused on the door… Closed, and she being far away, I turned from one side to the other in bed, thinking about a fun comeback to tell her, or how to reveal I was really awake when she exited the room.

 

But all of that was stopped by the door opened again, Peridot, in her full naked glory, with a tray in her hand, two steaming cups of tea and toasts in a plate, she smiled at me and to the full blush that overtook me.

 

“It’s time for breakfast… You can eat another thing of this room after it.” She said with a wink.

 

I just gulped to her giggles, as she placed the tray between us and sit in front of me, kissing my lips lightly and whispering words that always found my heart while our foreheads were pressed together.

 

“I love you, Lapis Lazuli.”

 

“I love you, Peridot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took a really long time, as always. But I promise quality and I hope you like it.
> 
> Every kudos or comment is appreciated, those are the fuel that push me to keep writing

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! It's my first time writing something in this style, any comment, suggestion, any typo you can find, or anything about this story, really it makes me happy and it helps, thank you for reading too!


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